Ask A Celebrant - CCN Blog
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As Christmas approaches, beware of elephants,
As Christmas approaches, my heart goes out to the countless number of bereaved parents who maybe facing their first, second, third, 20th or even 50th Christmas without their precious child.
Some will have died as babies, children, teenagers or adults, their age is irrelevant, just as how long ago it was. Some would have died through illness, car accidents or may have even made a decision to take their own life. Whatever the reason or cause the result is the same, their parents face Christmas without them.
Those who have not had this experience are probably thinking, “30 years ago? You’re holding onto the past, you should be over it by now”. But the truth is, just as in life, your child is yours for all time, whether they are alive or not – they are still a part of the family you love.
I'll change the setting which says I was the Author, because Robyn O'Connell our of our very experienced Funeral Celebrants wrote this piece. I only set the blog for publication and we are still on a learning curve. However I agree wholeheartedly about Christmas being a bitter-sweet time.
For 23 years my husband and I have had Christmas lunch with my sister-in-law. On the first occasion at that Christmas gathering amongst others, we had my mother-in-law, sister-in-law's husband's mother, herself, husband and three young boys as well as my mum and dad who were so generously invited as well.
Since then my dad aged 80 died (1995), my mum aged 92 (2006), sister-in-law's husband's mother aged 93 (2007), one of my sister-in-law's sons (2012) aged 27 and my mother-in-law aged 98 this year. Of course there are more family and friends that these people who we have lost since then too.
For my sister-in-law and her family this will be the first year without this family gathering. We feel deeply for her (and her immediate family) as the loss of her mother and son who would have been 30 this Christmas is particularly poignant. The family deserves to rest and reflect without the burden of being the focus of the Christmas family gathering. We wish them all the very best with their elephants.
My heartfelt thanks to Robyn for sending us this Christmas message for one of our first CCN Blog's on our new mobile friendly website.
So True Rona,
One of my Brides had a baby die and I phoned to see how things were going all bright and cheery as I did not know. So sad -- however I was able to empathise with her agony as even though years pass it is still with you and I can understand that. I realise that I have to be very aware of the couple and their needs. Whether they still will get married who knows but for now it is not a Happy Christmas for them.