Ask A Celebrant - CCN Blog

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More CCN Blog posts can be found in the Blog Categories to the right.
Jun
18

Ceremony Presentation

Be prepared!  That was the motto of the scouts and it is also the mantra that celebrants live by.  Our blogger today is CCN Celebrant Sonia Collins and she is talking about the ins and outs of ceremony presentation...

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May
27

Writing your own vows - Part 2

Today's blog is the Part 2 of Writing your own vows - the final instalment written by CCN Celebrant, author and guest blogger, Susanna Jose from Canberra, ACT. 
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152 Hits
Apr
10

My career change to become a celebrant

Becoming a celebrant has generally been a second, third or even fourth career change for some people.  Most celebrants you speak to describe their work as 'a vocation', 'a calling', or 'a real labour of love', but once you've arrived at your destination of becoming a celebrant, it's hard to turn away.   In today's blog we're introducing you to two CCN Members - Karen Dearing from Cobbitty, NSW and Katherine Sessions from Bendigo, Vic, who are sharing the stories of how they transitioned into the the world of celebrancy...

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225 Hits
Mar
27

Shortening the one month notice period

When you get married in Australia the law is that you must give notice in writing by way of lodging a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) form with your celebrant/registry office/clergy at least one month prior to your ceremony date.  You can lodge your NOIM up to 18 months beforehand...... but why the one month wait?
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346 Hits
Jul
04

The Kiss - What's appropriate?

Keep on kissing

We kiss people every day, and we generally know what's appropriate for each situation... but you know, the first kiss after the celebrant declares you married? The one with everyone watching as you lip lock in public with the cameras and videos working overtime. Yes, that kiss. That's not an everyday kiss that you will automatically know what to do. Today we're looking at what type of kiss is appropriate...

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483 Hits
May
22

How much does a marriage celebrant cost??

Civil Celebrants charge their own fee depending on the services they provide.  There is a myth that goes around from time to time that Civil Marriage Celebrants charge from $500 for 20 minutes work.  Let’s explore this myth a bit further and see where it takes us...
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HELEN MANONT

How much does a celebrant cost

Between the time they met and the ceremony, Jill also went to her hairdresser to ensure her hair was neat and presentable. She al... Read More
Wednesday, 23 May 2018 17:28
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Feb
14

Love Ceremonies

 

What is love? The ancient Greeks called love “the madness of the gods.”  Modern psychologists define it as it the strong desire for emotional union with another person.  But what, actually, is love.  It means so many different things to different people. Songwriters have described it, “Whenever you’re near, I hear a symphony.” Shakespeare said, “Love is blind and lovers cannot see.”  Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” www.theanatomyoflove.com

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622 Hits
Jan
09

Getting Married Legally in Australia

On the 9th December 2017 the Australian Government changed the marriage laws to allow same sex couples to legally marry.  This has been a long time coming for the LGBTQI community, their families, friends and supporters and it's finally here.  After waiting the required month after lodging the Notice of Intended Marriage form, those couples can, as of the 9th of January 2018, marry the person they love, regardless of their gender.
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Nov
14

The Marriage Equality Postal Survey Result

Marriage Equality – a statement from the National Committee of the Civil Celebrations Network (CCN) Inc

Today people across Australia have clearly shown their support for marriage equality and celebrant members of Civil Celebrations Network (CCN) Inc welcome the fact that we are one step closer to enabling all loving couples to marry if that’s their choice.

CCN was founded in 2008 on human rights principles.  It follows that we support the rights of all couples to marry, a right that is enjoyed already in more than 20 countries around the world.    

Parliamentarians now have the responsibility to review and debate the Bills and Amendments that will come before them in the coming weeks.   CCN will be watching the parliamentary deliberations with great interest.  We look forward to debate that is respectful and thoughtful resulting in changes to the Marriage Act 1961 and marriage equality for all.

Sonia Collins
Chairperson, Civil Celebrations Network (CCN) Inc
On behalf of the National Committee
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Recent Comments
Shell Brown

Share the love

Agreed Ros! This is the first step to full equality!
Wednesday, 22 November 2017 18:18
Rona Goold

BEST NEWS.. YES

The best news this Decade. So happy that soon, I along with all of my CCN Colleagues will no longer have to discriminate against... Read More
Wednesday, 15 November 2017 11:54
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Jul
26

The Order of a Marriage Ceremony

The Order of a Marriage Ceremony

Weddings today reflect the wishes of the couple.  They may be held in any venue at any time or on any day.  Your choice might be a beautiful building, a garden, a boat, a forest or beach.  Apart from some legal requirements you can structure the ceremony however you wish.

Talk to your celebrant about your ideas.  

Many people like to keep some of the traditional structure of a wedding ceremony so here is a run down of a traditional ceremony.

The Procession
The groom and his groomsmen are waiting at the end of the aisle with the celebrant, in front of the guests.  The bride, escorted by her father then follows her bridesmaids, flowergirls and pageboys down the aisle to meet her groom.  The bridesmaids, flowergirls and pageboys take their places on either side of the bride and groom ready for the ceremony.


Photo by: Kingen Smith - Inside Weddings

A more modern way to enter is to have both the bride's parents walk her down the aisle, the groom walk down the aisle with his parents or the couple walking down the aisle together symbolising that they are taking this next step together.

The Celebrant's Welcome
This is the part where the celebrant will say hello, welcome and then thank the family and guests for coming to the marriage ceremony of the bride & the groom.  The celebrant will also introduce themselves and state that they are duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to the law - that part is a legal requirement.

The Monitum (The Warning)
This is when the celebrant stresses to the couple the seriousness of marriage using these words:
"Before you are married in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses,
I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter."

And then explains what marriage means in Australia using these words:
"Marriage, according to the law in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life."

The Exchange of Vows
There are personal vows and then there are legal vows.  These are generally said one after the other.  Your personal vows can be anything that you want to say or promise to your partner at that moment; they can be as long or as short as you want them to be; they don't have to be the same as each other, they just need to be meaningful to each other. 


Photo: Pexels

The legal vows must say these words:
"I call upon the people here present to witness that I, (full name), take you, (full name), to be my lawful wedded wife/husband."

The Ring Exchange
Exchanging rings is a traditional ritual in a marriage ceremony, however it is not a legal requirement, so you don't have to do this part - or you can exchange different gifts.

You can include the ring exchange whilst your saying your legal vows or you can do this part straight after your vows each saying special words like: "I give you this ring a sign of my love and commitment."


Photo: Pixabay

The Pronouncement of Marriage
Once you say your vows in the presence of the celebrant and your two witnesses, then you are technically married, however traditionally the celebrant makes a statement to make it official "I now pronounce you husband and wife".

The Kiss
You are allowed to kiss anytime you want during the ceremony, but traditionally you are meant to wait until after the celebrant pronounces you "husband and wife" and then it's socially acceptable for you to go for it!


Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Signing of the Register
Once the marriage is official, then the bride, the groom, the two witnesses and the celebrant must sign 3 documents - the marriage register - which the celebrant keeps; the official marriage certificate - which is sent into the Department of Births, Deaths and Marriages to be registered and the commemorative marriage certificate - which you keep.


Photo by: Shell Brown

Final Words
The celebrant says some final words and gets the guests ready to welcome and celebrate the new married couple.  Also, they will sometimes give instructions or directions for the guests to follow for after the ceremony. 

The Recessional
This is where the newly married couple grab each other's hands and race back down the aisle and into their brand new future, followed closely by the bridal party, then they all congregate and wait for all their guests to come and congratulate them.

 
Photo sourcPexels


Remember - this might be the traditional order of events in a marriage ceremony, but (apart from the legal wording and placement of that legal wording) you can add in other rituals, readings, poetry and stories, and you can involve family and friends into the mix which really helps to make your ceremony your own.

If you would like to speak to a CCN Celebrant about how they could create a unique ceremony for you - jump to our website and FIND A CELEBRANT in your area today.

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Jul
18

I just got engaged - now what do I do?

I just got engaged..... now what do I do?

This is a common question asked by many a couple getting married for the first time, and in fact, it is still asked by people on their second and third time around.  Getting married is not an everyday occurrence, so it's not a natural thing where people simply 'know' what to do.

This is where your friendly, local CCN Celebrant comes in.  We can guide you through the legalities and what you need to do and know before, during and after your marriage ceremony.  We will work with you to create a ceremony that is tailored to your style and personalities and can be completely unique to only you.

If you'd prefer a religious ceremony in a religious building like a church, then you would need to contact the minister in that church for information regarding any special requirements and a third option is to make an appointment at the Registry Office in your state.
First things first….. let's make sure that you and your partner are eligible to get married in Australia.

1. Is your relationship between one man and one woman?
2. Are you both 18+? (speak to your celebrant if one of you is 16+)
3. Are you related to each other in a direct line?
4. Have you given at least one months notice to your celebrant?
5. Do you both consent to the marriage?

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You and your partner will need to complete a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) form and lodging it with your chosen celebrant at least one month (and no earlier than 18 months) before the ceremony.  Your celebrant will then make sure it's all in order and check your ID.
 
An ID needs to do two things:
1. show where and when you were born and
2. prove you are who you say you are

A passport does both of these things, but don't worry if you don't have a passport, you can still use your birth certificate and a driver's licence.  

If either you or your partner has been married before, you are required to show the original divorce or death certificate proving the end of the previous marriage.  Your celebrant must see these documents before they can legally perform the marriage ceremony.

Once you have the legal paperwork down, then depending on the type of wedding you are planning, there are a few other tasks that you'll need to add to your list, but as they are personal and unique to you and your partner, each couple's list will look a little different.

Here are some things your might include to your list of decisions:

The Date
The first thing to do is chose a few possible dates and then confirm with your chosen celebrant which date they are available. 

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The most popular month to get married in Australia is October closely followed by November and March. 

62% of all weddings in Australia happen on a Saturday; 15% on a Friday and 11% on a Sunday.... it's a good fact to remember that whilst there are 52 Saturdays in the year, there are only 12/13 in those three most popular months, so you're going to want to secure your celebrant as early as you can.

The Venue
You'll need to decide if you're going to use the same venue/outdoor space for your ceremony and reception, or you might have separate places in mind. 

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Popular wedding venues/public ceremony spaces will book out 12-18 months in advance (sometimes longer), so if you have your heart set on something in particular - get in early, otherwise go for something a little different that won't be overrun by brides and grooms. 
Outdoor spaces may require council approval - check the local council websites for information. 

If you are choosing an outdoor space make sure you consider seating, especially for older guests.  You'll also need to think about the weather - your dream might be of a bare foot beach wedding, but you'll have no happy guests if it's 40 degrees on the day and there is no shade.  Which brings me to the vital importance of having a solid Plan B in place.  It's great to think positively and hope that the rain holds off, but if it doesn't, then you have a logistical nightmare on your hands trying to organise your 120 soaked loved ones into a nearby gazebo designed to hold 10. 

Plan B people - Plan B!

The Guest List
This will come down to a few personal factors: budget and size of the venue being just two,
just remember, it's your day and you might want to consider if you really want to share it with a bunch of people you don't really know?

The Bridal Party
This tradition stems back to the olden days when people believed that evil spirits were afoot with a plan to steal away the bride before she had a chance to be given to the groom by her father - usually for some sort of fee.... 

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Photo source: people.com

Today, things are a little different and besides having somebody to arrange your hen's/buck's nights and hold up your dress whilst you use the bathroom, there really isn't a need for a bridal party anymore. 

If you're going full on traditional with your bridal party, it can become quite an expensive exercise for you and for your chosen ones when you consider they have to buy a dress/suit, shoes, travel, have their hair, make up and nails done - maybe things they wouldn't have forked out for as a plain old guest.  Having said that, there are less expensive ways to organise everything and it's also good fun to be able to share the day with your favourite friends, so this is a personal choice.

The Photographer/Videographer 
There are some people who don't care too much about having photos of their ceremony and they will usually have a cousin who owns a 'big' camera who said he would take the photos... 

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Then there are the people who hired a professional photographer on the way home from becoming engaged... 

and then there's the people who thought they didn't care too much about having photos of their ceremony until about a month or so after the wedding and the cousin showed them the 7 out of focus photos he took of their special day and now they wished that they'd hired a professional photographer...

This is obviously a personal decision and one that would come down to budget, but if you're going to spend money somewhere..... this would be a good choice.

The next photographic decision is whether to have your ceremony "Unplugged" 

I vote yes for this reason!

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The Flowers
Carrying a bouquet of flowers started being a thing back in the days when people didn't shower all that often and the pretty scent was meant to mask anything unpleasant on your day of days. 

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Since showering has become more popular, carrying flowers has become less vital, but people still like to carry them though because it seems to complete the bridal look.  If you feel you have to carry something, there are plenty of options other than flowers, A few examples I've seen: a bouquet of broaches, a purse, a sword, their baby and, a puppy. 

The Wedding Attire
The majority of couples getting married like to follow the tradition of wearing a suit and/or a white dress, however if you choose to wear anything else - at all, then you will be no less married than your frocked up peers when it's all said and done. 

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Some people feel that they wouldn't feel right if they didn't wear a traditional wedding dress, and to those people I say - you wear what ever you feel good in.

The Transport
Remember to think about the logistics - how are you, your partner, your parents, your grandparents, your bridal party, your cousin with the camera and the bouquet puppies going to get from the house to the ceremony.... then from the ceremony to the reception..... then home?  And who is taking all those dogs home after the photos?

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The Music
There are certain sections in the marriage ceremony where music is suggested: 

1. When the bride or couple enter
2. When they leave as husband and wife
3, During the legal signing of the register. 

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Music is such a personal thing, it's a good idea to sit down together and decide what you want to say through song.

That just about covers the most important part of the day - the actual getting married bit and the rest of your planning will be for the reception and possibly your honeymoon, so here is where your celebrant registers all your legal paperwok and wishes you all the best.

For more information about getting married - please check out our CCN website... oh, and congratulations!


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Jul
11

Show me the Stats

Show me the Stats

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics dated November 2016, there were 113,595 marriages registered Australia wide in 2015.

The number of marriages decreased in 2015 by 7,602 - down 6.3%

81.1% of brides and 79.1% of grooms were marrying for the first time.

16.3% of the marriages included one partner who had been married before.

Marriages where both partners had been married before were at 11.7%

The median age for men getting married was 31.8 years and for women it was 29.8 years - both ages increased from previous years.


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Couples who lived together prior to marriage accounted for 81%

54.2% of couples married in 2015 were both born in Australia.

 Out of the couples married in 2015 31.9% were born in different countries.

13.9% were born in the same overseas country.

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Civil Celebrants have overseen the majority of marriage ceremonies (since 1999) at an average across the country of 74.9%

If you would like to engage a civil celebrant for your marriage ceremony, commitment ceremony, vow renewal, baby naming ceremony or any other event that you'd like to celebrate - including memorials and life celebrations - then please contact one our fabulous CCN Celebrants

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Apr
08

Getting Married in Australia - The Legals

Getting Married in Australia - The Legals

The Marriage Act of 1961 says that you must comply with these six things below in order to get married in Australia:

1. your relationship must be between a man and a woman

2. you must be 18 years of age or over
(Under rare circumstances, a person between the age of 16 and 18 can marry, provided their prospective marriage partner is 18 years or over, and the couple have been granted permission by a Court)

3. you must not be married to anyone else

4. you cannot marry a person who is your antecedent or descendant by marriage or adoption

5. you must both be capable of and give free consent to marry the other 

6. you must lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) form with your celebrant no earlier than 18 months and no later than 1 month before your ceremony
(A prescribed authority may authorise a marriage where a NOIM form is lodged within one month of the date of the ceremony - ask your celebrant for details)

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So, if you can say yes to all six of the Marriage Act rules, or you have been granted the necessary permissions, then you are clear to start planning with your celebrant.

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Making the union legal between you and your partner can sometimes be a confusing business which is why it's a great idea to #AskaCelebrant and they will explain all the requirements to ensure your marriage is legally valid.  

You can find a CCN Celebrant in your area through the CCN website.

Your celebrant must also sight original forms of your ID and divorce/death certificates (not photocopies) before the ceremony can take place. 

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Some legal things that you might not know:

It is an offence, punishable with fines and/or jail time:

* for a person to go ahead with their marriage when the haven't complied with the 6 rules stated above and for a celebrant if they knew and solomnised the marriage anyway
* for a couple or a celebrant to falsify documents, by giving false information or backdating forms and certificates

* for a person who is not an authorised celebrant to solemnise a marriage
* for an interpreter to give false information

During the ceremony

The celebrant must state that they are authorised to solemnise marriages according to the law, and recite the monitum - which literally means "warning" that informs a wedding couple of the legal expectation of the binding nature of marriage within Australia, then the couple states that they want to become legally married to each other.  

This all has to be done in front of your celebrant and 2 witnesses who are over 18.

To conclude the ceremony, you, your celebrant and your witnesses sign three certificates and then your paperwork is sent off to the BDM in the state your ceremony took place to be registered.

And that's it!  It's that simple!

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FAQ:
What about if I want to surprise my fiance and organise the wedding without them knowing?

I'm sorry, but this just can't happen.  
You can surprise your guests, but both people who are getting married must have full knowledge and be in agreement at least one full month before the ceremony date.

Can I marry my first cousin?

Yes, you can.

Will my name be changed after the ceremony?

No, If you choose to change your name after you are married, you can automatically take your partner's surname without doing anything.  You can officially change your name, by going into government departments - Passport Office, Department of Transport, your bank, Medicare, etc, however.... you will first need to obtain an official marriage certificate from the BDM in the state you were married in.  

The pretty certificate you get on the day is a legal document that shows you are married but is not accepted by government departments and others for changing your name.

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Read More Information Here

If you have any questions relating to legally getting married in Australia, you can find one right here: Find a CCN Celebrant

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Mar
15

A wedding Vs a marriage

 
Some people think that a marriage and a wedding go hand in hand.... well, they do - but really, they don't.  
Yes, you have a wedding because you are getting married, but you don't (or you shouldn't) get married because you want a wedding.
 
It's vital not to lose sight of what is important.

A wedding can take an extraordinary amount of planning and can test your ability to deal with stress, your organisational skills and possibly your patience, but that's about all.  At the end of the day, yes you'll be married (assuming you've remembered to book a civil celebrant), but throwing a successful wedding party doesn't mean that you have a successful marriage - not yet anyway.

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A marriage takes work and it takes time. Years of nurturing your relationship where you treat each other with equality, respect and kindness.  Marriage is supporting each other through the great and the not so great times.  Marriage may force you to assess and re-evaluate some of your choices. It may also be a constant reminder that there is another person that you need to consider.  It's being able to communicate with your partner effectively and working out ways to live together harmoniously.  It's creating strategies to deal with conflict and disagreements.

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So why do we put such a massive emphasis on the wedding day?

We follow traditions about what we should wear and what our friends should wear.  We make sure that everything is colour coordinated, we adhere to the prescribed formulae so the day is perfect and a lot of us are throwing big $$$$ dollars at this one day.

Does the most expensive wedding = the best marriage?
Does getting the colour scheme wrong = a marriage failure?
Does bucking traditions = not a real marriage?
No.

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A marriage is a lifelong partnership and a wedding is the one day you choose to celebrate the beginning of that marriage.
Which ever way you choose to celebrate your marriage is totally ok - there's no judgement here, however be mindful of what is actually more important to you - the marriage or the wedding.

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To find a CCN Celebrant to help you create an amazing celebration for what is sure to be a wonderful marriage -  Click here.

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Feb
04

11 Questions to Ask Your Celebrant

First of all,  what is the role of the celebrant?

The role of a civil celebrant is to:

  • work with couples and families to create a beautiful, meaningful ceremony that suits their style.
and in addition for a marriage ceremony:
  • witness two consenting adults entering into a legal and binding relationship.  
  • complete all the legal paperwork and make sure that it is all done within the strict legal rules set in the Marriage Act of 1961. 


Here are some questions that you might consider when engaging a civil celebrant.

1. Are you available on the date I’ve chosen for my wedding/anniversary party/baby naming/funeral?
 
This is probably the most important of questions because if the celebrant is not available on your preferred day, then the rest of the questions are irrelevant.

2. What paperwork is required before we can get married?
 
This is a great question because there is a strict time-frame as to when you need to have initial paperwork lodged with your celebrant.
 
3. Can we meet and get to know each other before we decide?

Of course! It’s always a good idea to meet with your celebrant and make sure you feel comfortable with them and that you get a feeling of trust - after all, they will be taking care of a very important event for you and your loved ones.

 

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Image source: https://trulymarvellousweddings.co.uk

3. What services do you offer?

This can be used as a good comparison between celebrants, but it also gives you reassurance that you will be receiving everything that you want/need for your ceremony.

4. What happens during the ceremony?

If you’ve not been to too many ceremonies - weddings, namings or funerals, you may not be aware of how a ceremony works.  Asking this question will help to give you a visual of how the ceremony will flow.
 
For example in a marriage ceremony where everyone will stand or when you’ll be able to kiss your new husband.

 

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Photo credit: Shell Brown

5. Are you willing to travel?

Fairly important if you’re planning to have your ceremony 500kms away from where the celebrant lives!

6. Do you provide a PA system?

As part of the Celebrant Code of Practice, celebrants must make sure that the ceremony can be heard.  So if you’re having your ceremony on the beach or in a field, it’s important that your celebrant is able to provide a good quality PA system.

 

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Image source: Pixabay

7. Do you have or will you take any other bookings on the same day?

Some celebrants will book more than one ceremony on a day, which is completely fine – however a professional celebrant will make sure there is enough time to get between venues without rushing and missing anything. 

 

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Image source: wixsite.com
 
8.  Why did you become a celebrant and what do you enjoy about being a celebrant?
 
Getting to know your celebrant a little and finding out what they love about being a celebrant should help you to decide whether they are a good fit for your style, your personality and your ceremony.
 

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Photo: CCN Celebrant Scott Broadbridge-Brown - Beyond Celebrancy
 
9. Are you a member of a professional celebrant association like CCN?

Professional celebrant associations like CCN - (Civil Celebrations Network) offer their members support, assistance and ongoing professional development.  Celebrants who are a part of an association are able to network with colleagues and share their knowledge and experience whilst having access to a vast amount of information to help improve their skills.
 
10. What are your fees?
 
Once you’ve decided that you'd like this celebrant to be a part of your ceremony, that is the time that you’d ask them about their fees.  Obviously each element of your ceremony needs to fit into a budget, but try not to make your decision based on fees alone. The ceremony is often the part that makes the event different to other family gatherings or parties, and remembered most when beautifully designed and delivered.
 
In regard to weddings, an article was written recently about the costs of weddings and the break down listed the celebrant as the lowest cost item on people’s budgets, which is surprising when you think of the amount of work that is done to personalise a ceremony and the fact that your marriage can’t actually begin without a celebrant.

 

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Image source: ASIC - Money Smart
 
11. Would you like to be our celebrant?

What a wonderful offer.  I’d be honoured!

 

* ________________________________________________ *


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1187 Hits
May
11

We Need to Talk About Relationship Education

Let’s start to look at “Relationship Education” in a different way.

 

You meet someone you like, you have a giddy feeling in the pit of your stomach when they’re around.

 

You grow so close that you automatically know what they’re thinking before they think it.  

 

You feel like you know each other better than you know yourselves.
 
 
You’re in love and you can’t wait to get married.

 

Here’s where I’m going to stop you.

 

This is the time when you need to step outside of the beautiful love bubble that you’re in and sit down for a serious conversation with your beloved.
More and more couples are finding themselves - post marriage - reaching a point in their relationship where they don’t quite understand what has gone wrong as a result of not discussing important issues before getting hitched.

 

Leading relationship expert Dr Karen Phillip, and author of new book, “OMG We’re Getting Married - 7 Essential things to know before we say I Do” says,
 
“There is this assumption, because a couple is so in love and know each other so well, that they are on the same page, but it is incredibly important to talk about your finances, career goals and whether you want kids plus a whole range of other things before getting married.”

 

In a lead up to the wedding, couples work together and make big decisions about where the reception will be held, who is going to be in the bridal party, who is sitting next to who at the family table, but they’re planning a ‘wedding’ and it seems that conversations about their forthcoming ‘marriage’ - the important bit - are left unsaid and unquestioned.

 

Couples are not talking about:

 

* Whether they want to have children?

 

* How their children will be brought up?
* What their parenting style will be?
* Whether they were wanting to have their children baptised into a certain religion?

 

* Who will be the main ‘stay at home’ parent?
* If they can afford to put their kids in daycare?
* Where they will live?

 

* How much money each other earns?
* Any debts they’ll be bringing into the marriage?
* If they can live and stick to a budget?

 

* What they hope to do in the future - career wise?
* What are their expectations about married life?
* How much will each other’s families influence their lives?

 

* Ways they will continue to work on their relationship after they are married? i.e. date night without social media and open communication where both people’s feelings are accepted and validated.  This should be an ongoing part of your marriage.  Situations change and feelings change, so your relationship needs continual checking in with each other to make sure you are still on the same page.

 

So what is stopping us from having these incredibly important conversations?

 

As a celebrant, whenever I talk to couples about the importance of relationship education most of the responses are very similar:

 

“We’ve been living together for years, we know what’s going on with each other.”
“We don’t need that, do we Babe.”
“I already know him like the back of my hand.”

 

When we look at the other areas of our lives, we seek help from a doctor when we feel ill and we confide in a friend when we need advice.
 

We make appointments with financial advisors when we have money issues and we employ yoga instructors to keep our bodies in shape.  It seems we are looking after our health and well being in so many areas of our lives - except the most important relationship with our partner.

 

The word ‘counselling’ has somehow become attached with something being wrong or broken in your relationship, but that’s not necessarily the case at all.  To seek the help of a relationship professional shows that you take your relationship seriously and that you want to do what you can to keep it healthy.

 

You might seek help because you've lost your direction, but you don’t have to wait until you’re at breaking point before asking for help. Some couples have regular ‘check ups’ with a relationship professional, just to keep on top of things. 

It’s a conversation to see how you’re feeling about everything in your lives. A professional helps to keep that conversation on track and if necessary might give you some handy hints to make things even better.

I don’t know a single couple who hasn’t needed relationship help at some point.  It is just as sensible as having your car serviced or having a check up at your doctors. It’s easy, it’s painless and it could be the best thing you ever do in your marriage.

 

Finding a relationship professional in your area is easy - simply call your local CCN Celebrant to ask for a recommendation or here are a few suggestions:  

Relationships Australia: www.relationships.org.au

Family & Relationship Services Australia:  www.frsa.org.au

Interrelate family centres: www.interrelate.org.au

Anglicare Relationship Education: www.anglicare.org.au

Centacare: www.catholiccare.woll.catholic.org.au

Uniting Care: www.unifamcounselling.org

Better Marriages: www.bettermarriages.org.au

* _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ *

Thank you for joining us....

?? We would love it if you would let us know what you think ?.  

There is a comment section ? at the bottom ⬇ of the blog for you to do just that.  

It looks like this:       



Click on the word "Comment" and go for it!

? Don't forget to subscribe ? to this blog - the "subscribe" button is up the top of the page ⇞⇞⇞ and the blog will magically ?? appear in your email inbox ?.

Also please feel free to share ? our blog on your social media ? so we can spread the love ?! 

Please use this ? link: https://www.celebrations.org.au/blog when you share. ?

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947 Hits
Jan
27

Making It Legal

Are you wanting to get married, but not sure what you need to do?

 

The law in Australia at the moment is that legal marriage you must comply with these five things:


1. your relationship must be between a man and a woman

2. you must be 18 years of age or over *

3. you must not be married to anyone else

4. you cannot marry a person who is your antecedent or descendant by marriage or adoption

5. you must both be capable of and give free consent to marry the other 


If you can say yes to all five of those stipulations, then you are clear to start the getting married process with your celebrant.

 
Making the union legal between you and your partner can sometimes be a confusing business which is why it's a great idea to #AskaCelebrant and they will walk you through all the important legal requirements.  
 
You can find a celebrant in your area by clicking here.

 

Your first job, after finding your celebrant, is to complete the Notice of Intended Marriage form, commonly known as the NOIM.  Once this is filled in (your celebrant can help you) you lodge it with your celebrant.  This must be done no earlier than 18 months and no later than one whole month before your ceremony date.

Read more

 

If you are lucky enough to have found the one you love and they just happen to be the same sex as yourself then we are working hard to ensure that you are able to marry legally here in Australia.  However, until that time comes there are avenues in some states where you can register your union.  Click here for more information.

Why not speak to your celebrant about a Commitment ceremony or 'Betrothal' ceremony in preparation for full equality in marriage becoming legal in Australia?

Read More

* Under rare circumstances, a person between the age of 16 and 18 can marry, provided their prospective marriage partner is 18 years or over, and the couple have been granted permission by a Court as prescribed in the Marriage Act 1961.

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955 Hits
Nov
21

20th Wedding Anniversary - What advice would you give?

ASK A CELEBRANT BLOG: When Rona Goold CCN Coordinator celebrated her 20th Anniversary, she sent her 'sweetie husband" Steve a personal e-card on the theme of 'Life is a bowl of cherries' - when you have a good partner, where one's joined at the heart and that they made "a good pair" with this image :-)

Steve and Rona say that knowing each other's Love Languages is one way they strengthen their relationship.

 "Fortunately 'gift giving' is not high on either of our lists, but words of affirmation and acts of service are.On receiving his e-card, Steve declared that it is really great to feel so close that neither "gives each other the pip"!" says Rona

What are your words of advice to newly weds about strengthening their marriage over time?

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Cameron Moore
My advice would be to take time to listen to each other on a daily basis - either over a coffee, wine or just sitting around. Face... Read More
Saturday, 23 November 2013 10:54
5659 Hits
May
18

Why it's not just a piece of paper

People sometimes say to me, why get married "it's only a piece of paper".  Is it this simple?
I think not....


 A lot of couples get caught up in the fun, glamour and frivolity of their wedding day - the dress, flowers, food and music.  It is however, the ceremony, in particular the legally binding words that are spoken by both bride and groom and the signing of the marriage documentation that is in effect the beginning of a legally binding contract, which comes with significant legal obligations and responsibilities.  Getting married changes your legal and taxation status and insurance, wills and social security status change.  Laws regarding inheritance and custody of children also come into play.  

Marriage really is one of the most important contracts one will sign in a lifetime, so perhaps this is why in Australia couples are legally required to give notice of their intended marriage to their celebrant, at least one clear month before their wedding day - a "cooling off" period perhaps?

 

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  3469 Hits
3469 Hits
Sep
30

Celebrant WA Perth Raelene Walker

raelene-walker-waASK A CELEBRANT BLOG
www.celebrants.org.au

I lived in the North West of Western Australia which is a wonderful beautiful place. For myself and my family it presented opportunity for varied work and living experiences and some great memories.I’ve had the opportunity to work and study in various areas such as community agencies family support services, tourism and administration in the health industry.

Moving back to the city of Perth brought about a lot of change for my family. The more I thought about this the more

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Recent comment in this post
Rona Goold
You have the freedom to make your wedding day as special as you wish.
Friday, 10 October 2014 21:34
1299 Hits
Jun
22

Why do 75% of couples choose civil ceremonies?

I was thinking about this question when someone recently suggested that civil ceremonies were a "cheap" option compared with the traditional church wedding.  Really nothing could be further from the true reason people choose civil ceremonies.  No matter where the ceremony is held, the cost of a wedding is determined by all the extras - dresses, flowers, photographs, cars, reception and so on, and these are usually the same whether the ceremony is civil or church.

No! The real reasons are about atmosphere and choice.  For the couple who do not have strong connections with a church, the words, music and atmosphere of a church service can be alien.  Whereas with a civil ceremony the couple can choose the time and day, their favourite location, the words and music for their ceremony and can make vows to eachother that are truly meaningful to them.  This choice leads to a happy, relaxed atmosphere in which guests can really appreciate the love and commitment that the couple are showing towards each other.  No wonder that civil marriage ceremonies, conducted by celebrants trained in both ceremonial and legal requirements, are the most popular ceremonies today.

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  2461 Hits
2461 Hits
May
11

South Brisbane Celebrant - Eunice Phipps

This weeks featured celebrant is Eunice Phipps from South Brisbane QLD.

I come from a loving family background and have been married now for forty years. I have two children and four grandchildren. I have always been creative and as a twelve year old I learnt oil painting and still love to paint. For many years I have been involved in my community first teaching the art of calligraphy and then folk art which I am still actively teaching today. I have always enjoyed creative writing and have written many poems through the years, including my annual Christmas Verse.

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  3289 Hits
3289 Hits
Nov
10

Melbourne Celebrant - Anna Wong

This weeks featured celebrant is Anna Wong from Melbourne VIC.

My name is Anna Wong and I am a mother of 3, a grandmother of 3, a  registered civil celebrant, trained nurse, midwife and childbirth educator.

I was born and brought up in England, trained as a nurse and midwife in London and moved to Singapore in 1980 with my Chinese Singaporean Husband. He was a General Surgeon, I a Nurse, and, in a stereotyped manner, our eyes met over an operating table....... I founded my own health education centre called Birth & Beyond in 1985 and quickly became a leader in the field of childbirth education and parenting. I spent over 24 years educating, supporting, empowering and inspiring women and their partners through pregnancy, birth and beyond in Singapore and Indonesia. 

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  5698 Hits
5698 Hits
Nov
06

Grooms - How do you tell if marriage is for you?

Question_mark_150ASKACELEBRANT BLOG - Are you a bride or groom wondering about whether marriage is really for you? Marriage is a long term commitment. Even in a country where there is divorce, marriage carries thousands of years of expectations and hope that this is a relationship  "for life".

So what questions do you ask yourself to figure out if you are ready to take that BIG step?

Here's an article that uses no religious arguments - yet would be very much at home in many religious faiths - and what's more it is written by a bloke!

Our thanks to Seth Adam Smith for sharing his personal experiences on marriage :

http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/

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12194 Hits
Jul
24

Ruby Birthday for one of our special celebrants

Congratulations to our lovely Lyn Knorr

Lyn achieves 40 years today as civil celebrant having been appointed in Australia on 24th July 1973, the second Civil Marriage Celebrant appointed in Australia and the first  in Victoria.

Celebrants and Celebrations Network Australia - CCN is privileged to have Lyn Knorr as one of our founding CCN Inc Committee members and a CCN Life Member. 

And with some long-timers at the 40 the Anniversary last Friday of the appointment of the first Civil Marriage Celebrant, Lois D'Arcy.

Lyn shared some of her memories of the Early Days at a 2005 celebrant conference. 

We thank her for her faithful service to the Australian public and our civil celebrancy profession and wish her all the very best in the years ahead.

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Recent comment in this post
Rona Goold
Ask A Celebrant APOLOGIES & CORRECTIONS of our original blog. Lyn Knorr was appointed as the 1st Civil Celebrant in Victoria and ... Read More
Wednesday, 24 July 2013 22:25
4469 Hits
Jul
19

Royal assent to the marriage equality bill UK

Stonewall UK has confirmed that Queen Elizabeth has granted royal assent to the marriage equality bill, concluding its process and officially making it law. This makes the UK the 16th country to pass marriage equality, and same-sex couples will be able to begin marrying in England and Wales by next summer.

See more:
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/07/17/2313921/marriage-equality-is-officially-law-in-the-united-kingdom/?mobile=nc

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  3203 Hits
3203 Hits
Jun
16

Canberra Celebrant - Daphne Cole

This weeks featured celebrant is Daphne Cole from Canberra ACT.

I am a Canberra mother of three, married for over 30 years. I love helping couples create a personalised service to celebrate their special wedding day.

I perform weddings, reaffirmation of vows and baby naming ceremonies in locations in and around Canberra and the NSW South Coast. I plan to continue my passion well into the future, operating from the beautiful coastal town of Tomakin.

I enjoy travelling to nearby towns to do ceremonies and think that Canberra and nearby NSW surrounds have some of the most beautiful formal and informal venues to celebrate special occasions.

I love visiting the chapels, gardens, lakes, beaches and home backyards and helping people choose the ceremony that is right for them and their situation.

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  2413 Hits
2413 Hits
May
12

Townsville Celebrant - Dianne Sherrington

This weeks featured celebrant is Dianne Sherrington from Townsville North Queensland.

I have worked in the meat industry for 30 years the last 10 years was in the training program, as I have a Certificate 4 in Assessment and Workplace Training, I was conducting in a class room of up to 50 people all inductions for the new employees. Teaching new employees skills required for the task they must performed.

I feel this role has given me the opportunity to feel relaxed and confident to stand in front of a large crowd and perform my ceremonies.

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  2993 Hits
2993 Hits